I'm spending the day importing CDs into my Itunes. I had an exam this morning and have been needing some down time lately.
Koukla is laying down in front of me as I sit on my bed looking out the window with the laptop on one knee and an open CD case on the other knee. Iron and Wine is playing and the wind outside is just slightly bending the tops of trees. It's exactly the kind of peaceful situation I need right now.
(As I'm finishing up that last sentence, my phone rings. It's Lauren Caporizo calling to study. The doorbell rings as soon as I pick up the phone, and it's the plumber. It was nice while it lasted.)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
How to Wash Towels
I've realized that our towels never smell fresh, so in hopes of changing that, I'm posting the following (because I never actually do laundry):
Wash a load of towel and only towels (okay and washcloths)
Plenty of sweet smelling detergent!
Preferable on hot cycle ... but our washing machine doesn't have hot cycle. Skip this step.
After the wash, put them in the dryer asap with two lavender dryer sheets.
Make sure they dry completely.
Oh so fresh towels!
Wash a load of towel and only towels (okay and washcloths)
Plenty of sweet smelling detergent!
Preferable on hot cycle ... but our washing machine doesn't have hot cycle. Skip this step.
After the wash, put them in the dryer asap with two lavender dryer sheets.
Make sure they dry completely.
Oh so fresh towels!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
self loathing
i think i just lack motivation because i don't like myself...therefore i keep fucking things up even more and hating myself more. it is a cycle and i am digging myself deeper into this hole. i don't want it to swallow me alive. i don't want to be this person anymore. if i can't like myself, who will?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
creative shortcomings (this is my first blog)
so i am an art major...why?
it really makes no sense to study anything artistic or unconventional because all they do is demand creativity with a deadline. how does that actually work? i don't get it...still. maybe i'm just not cut out for this. i hope i'm cut out for something. i really just want to lie in my bed these days.
i've been singing with eyes of the elders and stump dickens for the past few weeks. it's sooo much fun! i hope it continues to go well.
i think 70 is a good temperature...right? maybe we could just leave it there. turning the air on and off makes it have to run harder and uses more energy. also...the windows being open when it is on isn't good...money and energy out the window. my dad would kill me if he knew that was happening. :) oohhh daddy...i miss you.
audrey is getting better, i think. i feel bad that we don't have more time to spend with her and play with her. that's why i've never gotten a dog before. i think liz has kinda turned into mommy. her and juan take her to the park and petsmart, they play with her alot and buy her toys. she's soooo cute! we all love her.
i feel really weird lately...confused, tired, lonely, down, but with bursts of excitement and lots of good things....i guess those moments are fleeting though. i want to be close to everyone...it's hard when sometimes people won't let you in. i know i'm not being very good at that these days...so i guess i'm a hypocrite. it's weird not being sure about your feelings; it so much reminds me of high school. i've thought i had so much figured out since i've been in college, but i think i just had something constant (kyle) to keep me feeling stable. it's nice to have something you are able to rely on and know you feel strongly for. i thought that would be forever...so it's a bit discomforting to have to rebuild my strength right now. i don't even really have the will or energy to do so. i think lately i just hate feeling anything at all. maybe i'm depressed? shouldn't the medicine i started taking make that change? i don't even know if i feel different at all from it...i just know it makes me have very vivid and crazy dreams. lots of them have been about kyle leaving me. lots of them are about someone in my family getting hurt. it is obvious that those are the things i've held so close to my heart. now it just hurts. i don't want to hurt anymore. how do i move on?
i guess i have to want to first. i don't really want to do anything though. no school. no work. no talking. no moving. i know better than that though.
is this too much? i just felt like writing...am i doing this right though? this is my first blog
it really makes no sense to study anything artistic or unconventional because all they do is demand creativity with a deadline. how does that actually work? i don't get it...still. maybe i'm just not cut out for this. i hope i'm cut out for something. i really just want to lie in my bed these days.
i've been singing with eyes of the elders and stump dickens for the past few weeks. it's sooo much fun! i hope it continues to go well.
i think 70 is a good temperature...right? maybe we could just leave it there. turning the air on and off makes it have to run harder and uses more energy. also...the windows being open when it is on isn't good...money and energy out the window. my dad would kill me if he knew that was happening. :) oohhh daddy...i miss you.
audrey is getting better, i think. i feel bad that we don't have more time to spend with her and play with her. that's why i've never gotten a dog before. i think liz has kinda turned into mommy. her and juan take her to the park and petsmart, they play with her alot and buy her toys. she's soooo cute! we all love her.
i feel really weird lately...confused, tired, lonely, down, but with bursts of excitement and lots of good things....i guess those moments are fleeting though. i want to be close to everyone...it's hard when sometimes people won't let you in. i know i'm not being very good at that these days...so i guess i'm a hypocrite. it's weird not being sure about your feelings; it so much reminds me of high school. i've thought i had so much figured out since i've been in college, but i think i just had something constant (kyle) to keep me feeling stable. it's nice to have something you are able to rely on and know you feel strongly for. i thought that would be forever...so it's a bit discomforting to have to rebuild my strength right now. i don't even really have the will or energy to do so. i think lately i just hate feeling anything at all. maybe i'm depressed? shouldn't the medicine i started taking make that change? i don't even know if i feel different at all from it...i just know it makes me have very vivid and crazy dreams. lots of them have been about kyle leaving me. lots of them are about someone in my family getting hurt. it is obvious that those are the things i've held so close to my heart. now it just hurts. i don't want to hurt anymore. how do i move on?
i guess i have to want to first. i don't really want to do anything though. no school. no work. no talking. no moving. i know better than that though.
is this too much? i just felt like writing...am i doing this right though? this is my first blog
I cleaned my room today ... including vacuuming. There is still so much to be done.
We are currently arguing over the temperature of the house. Some like no heat, some like lots of heat. Stay tuned for a compromise.
The house survived Friday night's birthday fondu party. We tried to keep everyone out of the kitchen ... but we ended up in there anyway. Everyone in their fancy attire standing in the kitchen.
We have so much work to still do around the house. I think that by the time it's finished, our lease will be up. We have big plans for the fireplace and the 'sushi room.'
We are currently arguing over the temperature of the house. Some like no heat, some like lots of heat. Stay tuned for a compromise.
The house survived Friday night's birthday fondu party. We tried to keep everyone out of the kitchen ... but we ended up in there anyway. Everyone in their fancy attire standing in the kitchen.
We have so much work to still do around the house. I think that by the time it's finished, our lease will be up. We have big plans for the fireplace and the 'sushi room.'
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